“When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” —  Eckhart Tolle

How many of us grew up in less than happy homes? As children we remembered, for awhile, who we really were, but we thought that (unconsciously, of course) “if I just vacuum all this unhappiness up, and deal with it later, then everyone will be happy”? “And, I remember who I am, so I can handle it.”

The problem was that we vacuumed up all the unhappiness, thinking the family would be happier – but they weren’t! They stayed unhappy! But now you are carrying around their unhappiness in your vacuum cleaner bag! So they’re unhappy and so are you! That, in itself, is a lose-lose situation.

However, it gets worse! We are carrying others’ unhappiness, they are still unhappy – BUT, because we are holding on to their past unhappiness, they can’t grow and heal . On some level, we are keeping those we love stuck at the point in time we vacuumed up their “stuff”. Now we have an even bigger lose-lose-lose scenario!

I do many “vacuum bag-ectomies” on my clients. For many of us who are healers and helpers, who care – we are resistant to letting go of the vacuum bags – we are convinced (in a literal thinking way) that it helps. But if we move into considering the paradox of live, we realize it is hurting our loved ones, not helping them.

OK – so how do you do a “vacuum bag-ectomy”? The first step, of course, is to realize it helps those we love, it does not hurt them. To be willing. And, to realize we are not throwing years of vacuum bag junk back at them, we are just letting it go and turning it to light.

What I do is quick and easy: I call in all of my (or my clients’) “guides and angels and healers and helpers”, and I call in Archangel Michael (He’s the guy in the picture.. and is great at helping to release energies we don’t need), and I ask that “any and all energies that are not mine/my client’s and do not serve me/them be released and taken to the light.” Many of my clients actually feel lighter, smaller, like they have lost weight!

So many of us are so full of other’s stuff in our positive intention to help and to take care of them, that we can’t feel ourselves. We can’t feel our own spirit, or own joy. As Eckhart Tolle says “you lose yourself in the world”.

This is all about that phrase that many resist (and I talk with students and clients about), “healthy boundaries”. What are healthy boundaries? It means I am taking care of myself, doing what I can to feel good and happy, loving and caring for others but not taking on their pain or struggle, knowing that if I take it on, it does not help them!

“Healthy boundaries” means I sleep enough, eat healthy, get exercise, meditate, use Reiki on myself daily, have some fun, find balance between work and play, etc. It means I let others be themselves, on their path, with their choices – I don’t try to control them or tell them what to do or fix them!

Reiki is a wonderful tool for loving and helping yourself and others and having healthy boundaries. Why?

  • It fills you before it flows through you, thus protecting you from taking on other’s stuff. You can use it on yourself.
  • You can use the energy at a distance and help then let go.
  • And so much more!