“Worrying is praying for what you DON’T want to have happen.” – a long-ago friend
“Not my circus, not my monkeys.” – Polish Proverb
For most of my life, I tried to “save” my mother from a challenging marriage. I remember my sister and I, as teenagers, asking her to divorce our father. We went to workshops, we talked, and she stayed married. I continued to see my mother as the victim, and my father as the problem. But then I had an epiphany – I realized that my parents’ relationship was really none of my business! They made their choice. “It takes two to Tango…” Their lives together were their path, their karma, their lessons. All I could do was love them, hand their relationship to the Divine, and let go. It was not my job to fix it!
I was working with a client the other day who was worried about a couple of her siblings. She is the oldest of seven, now all adults well into middle age (and later), but she still felt responsible for them. She wanted my help to heal them. We worked a bit on her siblings, but mostly we worked on her really getting that her siblings are on their own path, making their own choices. That she can’t fix them or save them. What she can do is to let go and hand them to their Source, to the Divine, to their path. When we did that together, what we noticed is that my client’s energy got much brighter and larger and clearer. But we also noticed that her siblings’ energy looked lighter and better and healthier! It was a win-win process.
Yesterday I was working with a client whose elderly father has increasing health challenges. There are caregivers, and a very mixed-up family situation. She worries about him, and seems to be the only advocate for him. It can be “crazy-making.” But when we worked to send light into his home, and hand her father and the whole situation to the Divine, she felt a whole lot better, and his energy looked much better!
The world of energy and healing is paradoxical. Holding on to someone, wanting to fix or save or heal them, while seeing them as sick or broken, keeps us stuck in seeing them negatively, and keeps them stuck with our view of them. Paradoxically, when we let go, and hand them to the Divine, we are not abandoning them, but handing them to an energy that is more capable than we are. We are setting them and ourselves free.
I have been enjoying a wonderful smartphone app called Inner Balance from HeartMath that helps me get into “coherence” – a state when the heart, mind, and emotions are in energetic balance. I am learning alot, and experimenting. What is very interesting to me is that when I think “let go” is when I most often get into coherence!!