“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
I recently did a distant healing session for a client, and one of her questions after she received my email detailing what I noticed and what I did was, “did you find any cords?”
Last week I was working on a long-time client and friend who was very hurt and upset about a nasty letter she had received. As I worked in her upper body, I sensed a huge amount of cords around her head, keeping her stuck in the pain.
I’ve been working with energy cords for years. A cord is a connection to or from someone – living or dead, that can deplete your energy, or cause you to feel off-balance, or sometimes angry or hurt. Sometimes cords are from people (or animals) who have passed, and are hooked into us, wanting to convey a message or make sure we are OK. Sometimes cords are from us to someone else (again, living or dead), where we are somehow trying to manage or control that person, or if they are no longer alive, not wanting to let them go. My personal sense is that cords are never helpful. They can cost you or the other person energy. Letting go of cords is incredibly freeing, but not always easy. Of course, the first step is to realize that you have energy cords.
Most of us want to be clear – to have only our own energy and our guides and angels around us – in our aura. We want to feel our own feelings and manage our own energy. Sometimes I tell clients they look like Pigpen – the cute little character from the Peanuts comic strip, who is sitting in dirt with flies buzzing around his head. Not clear or clean!
When someone is hooked into me, because they are worrying about me, or wanting connection, I often feel sort of crazed – like I want to scream or cry, or I feel depleted and exhausted. Then I stop and realize I have cords hooking in, this is not mine – so I call in all my guides and angels for support (Archangel Michael is a big help), I unhook the cord from it’s roots – like we would pull out a weed (I never cut cords – they can just grow back) – and hook the person at the other end of the cord to their source. Like I am unplugging an electrical cord from me and plugging the person into their source. It’s worked for years, but sometimes takes some vigilance and repeat checking.
Last week I had a huge aha – and really busted myself. I was feeling angry and frustrated with my husband Jim. I don’t remember what was going on, but I was feeling that familiar crazed, corded feeling. Then I stopped and took an intuitive look at my energy field. And I was shocked to find that the cords were coming from me to him, not from him to me! I realized I was blaming, and also being very controlling. For years, I had decided to hand Jim to a big mother goddess when I sensed he was hooked into me. But who am I to even decide that? So now I just ask that he be hooked up to his source, whatever that is. I am working to let him just be who he is, to pull in my cords if I am feeling frustrated, and hand him to his source. “Let Jim be Jim” is one of my mantras.
Interestingly after my big aha – in working with clients last week, I realized that the cords I sensed in their energy was from them, not to them. We worked to just let go, and let the person in question just be who they are.
I encourage you to check in with yourself. One of my favorite questions is “Is this mine?” – when you are feeling any pain or emotions, etc. – is it yours or something you picked up from someone else? Another good question – especially if you are angry or upset, is “Is this cord from me or from them?” – and let it go. We all want to feel good – and be free.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers